I'm an Anxious Parent
I hate the term "crazy". Or even "disorder." It makes me seem adept. I hide things from my counselors in fear they'll worry how my thoughts cross over to my home life. To my job, as a parent.
In 2013, an estimated 3 million Canadians aged 18 or older reportedly had a mood disorder and/or anxiety disorder (statscan). The most common coping strategies were developing good sleep habits. Let's mix that with young children, and developing those sleep habits seems next to impossible.
Single mom? Sleep doesn't exist for you.
Newborn? Ditto.
And even with "good sleep" it doesn't solve the root of the problem. Not even close. Many of these individuals don't seek help, or don't take medications/counseling. Sometimes it's a money issue. Sometime's time. Sometimes you have anxiety so strong you can't even pick up the phone to call to ASK for help.
Mom guilt. We've all experienced it at some point or another. Maybe while pregnant you drank too many coffees that one day (now your child will be hyperactive!), or you were unable to breastfeed (OH NO! FAIL!), or your child fell at school and how could YOU as a parent, even though YOU weren't there let that happen! Guess it's time to home school...
As someone with diagnosed mental illnesses, I live with mom guilt. It's become a part of me. I worry every day that my son "has it" (some mental illnesses can be passed by genetics). Or I'm having an "off" day and I can't play with him like I said I would. Or my anxiety is SO HIGH, that we can't go outside, I'll have a panic attack and he's just too big for me to carry him and leave anymore.
The stigma is the silent killer. Parents judge. How can someone with a chronic illness raise a well-adjusted child? HOW!?
But I know I'm not alone.
Many parents live (I won't say suffer) with this everyday. Some have more support than others, but I don't see why we need to bring them down.
THEY ARE TRYING. I am trying.
My son is awesome. I love him more than I can even put into words. Not ONCE have I neglected him, even on a bad day. He's fed, bathed, dressed. He gets great marks in school. And so far, no signs of depression or anxiety (*fingers crossed*). And I know many parents out there deal with these same fears. Some are sicker than others and need more help. So why reprimand them as parents when we should just be HELPING THEM?
I know this seems a little choppy, all over the place. I'm anxious right now. My mind is racing and I can't focus. This is a streamline of my thoughts. I was hoping to right a cohesive blog about how anxiety as a parent doesn't make you a BAD parent. It doesn't. I hope that was conveyed. So many people need help and are scared to ask.
Mental health has come along way. More studies are conducted on children's mental health than the parents that raise them.
Self-care is important. Just like when you are on a plane, you need to put your oxygen mask on before assisting others.
