My kid's a Butthead
You read that right.
I don’t remember the last time I used the term “butthead” but I can’t think of a better word to describe him
Sure he’s intelligent, fit, funny…
That doesn’t change the fact… that he’s still a butthead.
You know when you are expecting to have the most fantastic day? You decide to take the family to dinner, everyone is into it, and you get to the restaurant. Everyone sitting quietly. For about five minutes.
Then the buttheadedness starts.
I don’t understand what switch in the brain makes a child realize that he’s been good for FAR TOO LONG, and now must meet his behaviour difficulty quota (and it seems to always be in a public place). You try to calm them down, you already ordered the food. Can’t walk out now. Plus you are all STARVING. Your child only eats one thing at restaurants, chicken strips and fries (you tell yourself it’s just a treat, he’ll eat some cucumbers at home. YAY! Vegetables!), so you order it. But your child, by some MIRACULOUS MIRACLE, says “NO, I want something else.”
Could this be it. The day your child’s palette has finally matured to the point of eating coloured foods!
So there you sit.
Ten minutes go by.
You turn to your child, STARVING, “so honey, what is it that you want?”
…
“Chicken strips and french fries.”
This was never mentioned in parenting class. I was taught to breastfeed, move to solids, try a variety of foods. But they never teach what happens when children start forming their own opinions (and in turn vocalizing them!). I remember the grand ol’ days of showing him MY favourite movies, and MY favourite toys and him just being happy to spend time with his momma. Now, at the ripe old age of 7, my movies are “boring”, the toys I buy him are “dumb”, and I’m just plain “not cool”.
It’s like parenting classes all stop teaching us how to parent after the age of 3!
ANNOUNCEMENT: Children get OLDER.
Now he’s not a bad kid, by any means. We have lots of good moments. He helps with chores (when I tell him a trillion million times), he does his homework (when I threaten that he will lose dessert), he eats his vegetables (he eats cucumbers, with LOTS of ranch dressing), and he plays well with other kids (I think I just got lucky with this one). But I swear, every child has this urge to push the parents buttons until one day.
POP.
Mom’s all fizzled out.
So this is my parenting lesson for the older years.
The years when they can vocalize just how much they hate you.
The years when they smell, and it’s not because they pooped their pants.
The years when you have to watch their friends.
The years when they start acting more and more like you did then…
Laugh.
Remember those days when you laughed at your infant for blowing out their diaper, while simultaneously gaggy and freaking out? Those days when your two year old swore, and you laughed (but of course had to hide it). Those nights when you put them to bed after not napping all day, and you lie down to both cry and laugh yourself to sleep?
Laugh. It’s not all bad.
They will also vocalize how much they love you.
They will learn to shower themselves!
You’ll still have to watch their friends, but not all kids are bad.
And make sure you act the way you want them to act.
Make them laugh.
They will make you laugh.
Just don’t be a butthead.
